Ghosts of my dating past

When it comes to dating, everyone has a "type". Some girls like athletic men, some the altruistic ones, and others like ambitious men. My "type" does not fit into any of these categories. My good friends consistently are able to pinpoint my type, it is the douchebag (if unfamiliar with the term, please click here). Yes, the guy who you see at the bar with a smug look and tight abs has made me weak in the knees for years. Many of you will be able to see where such endeavors go, a brief romance with un-returned phone calls and yes, anger. In an effort to turn my luck with dating around, I consulted my friends. As I listened I thought, "It's really simple, the only thing all these men had in common was me." Clearly I was just picking the wrong guys. In an effort to amend my treacherous ways, I'm looking back at the ghosts of my dating past. Oh yes, it is good.

My first experience with dating and men happened in the seventh grade. Ah, middle school. I was not a popular kid and one day one of the “cool kids” asked me out. I was elated; this really cute popular kid liked me! Life was beautiful, but I soon realized it was a cruel joke, and two days later I was over it. Karma is a bitch. I recently saw him and it was a shocker. I consoled my 12 year old self with “yes awkwardly tall girl with untamable curly hair, by the time you are 24 you will have legs for days, have discovered hair product, and he will have a receding hairline.” Hah! Sweet victory and life's sweet revenge. Little did I know then that this experience would set the tone for my dating life - men who lack seriousness and commitment.  Maybe my attraction to these men started young or maybe it's my karma.

Fast forward to my sophomore year in high school, I began dating a guy who went to an all boys private high school. Um...can anyone say red flag?! But did I see it? No. I thought he was going to be my first boyfriend and I *sigh* was completely smitten. He was my first kiss and our mutual friends were dating. I was ready to ride off into the sunset. In reality, he was looking to get laid, a shock to my infatuated heart. It was like getting hit over the head with a ton of bricks. All men want is sex?! How can this be?! Why doesn’t he care about my feelings!! Boo-hoo!! Needless to say we had an explosive falling out involving him throwing out as many negative degrading things that he could; all of which I took to heart (oh my, what about that Catholic education?). Did I learn my lesson? Of course not! I merrily continued searching for more "hot" guys.

 

The most recent asshole I dated wasn’t your traditional “dude-bro”. Returning from Europe, I caved to my mother’s request that I try online dating. I met a guy, he treated me well, and we got along great. After a month and a half of dating I felt as though I was on the brink of a mature, adult relationship. This changed when I found out he was still on the hunt for other girls online. I like to call this guy peek-a-boo douche, I had to work to find out he was a shit head. He showed his true colors. I confronted him and ended it. He said he was afraid of hurting me - what a guy - and should have been more empathetic to my feelings. I told him not to confuse empathy with cowardice.

I have moved away from this "normal type”, and I am optimistic that I will find someone someday. Until then, I am enjoying my single life and relishing in the fact that I don’t have to feel guilty about accepting a free drink from an attractive gentleman.