Blind dates also known as matchmaking FAIL.

            I think I have been on more first dates than the average person has in their lifetime. I have been set up, asked out, slipped digits, and cat called. The one thing I learned, there is no replacement for chivalry. My childhood expectations of a knight sweeping me off my feet was shattered long ago and replaced with the glimmer of hope that just maybe a date would pay for dinner (fancy, huh?). These days, most of my friends are in happy stable relationships skipping merrily along the golden pathway toward wedded bliss. I remain content in my single-hood, but as usual people continue to have a gnawing desire to set me up or reassure me that my “other half” is out there. Apparently they are more worried about it than I am; besides nothing is sexier than an unemployed college grad that lives with their parents. 

          Whoever decided that setting up their friends on blind dates is a good idea should be punished by having to sit through the uncomfortable event. A coworker arranged my first venture to the blind dating world because “he is tall and [I am] tall.” Clearly we were meant to be. I begrudgingly accepted the offer and went in as optimistically as possible. Who knows, he could be the next Kobe Bryant. I arrived at the theater and spot him immediately, at 6’7” he doesn’t blend in. He is standing by a pillar trying look casual, but achieving a level of awkwardness that would make any World of Warcraft master proud. He was cute enough, but could not carry a conversation. I tried to shake it off as nerves, but there was something else. Then it hit me, he was one of the video game addicts who sat at home on Friday nights arranging their action figures and drinking Mountain Dew Code Red; as in this is his first day ever. Realizing this, I tried to make the best of it, but his comic book obsession (amplified by the fact we were seeing Sin City) left me begging for a way out. He kinda reminded me of a younger version of these guys:

  

         One clever excuse and an uncomfortable hug later I was back to the safety of my car drafting the scathing text message to be sent to my coworker for failing at being Cupid. When Mr. Wrong realized my disinterest, after dozens of unsolicited texts left unanswered, he approached our matchmaker and demanded, “I WANT TO KNOW WHY!” Apparently he thought that our height made us compatible, and I never heard from him again.