I spend a good portion of my day at work looking at resumes. The majority of them are all the same, but there are some that make me laugh, and not in a good way. Many people will put an "interests" section in a resume. At times, this could work in their favor, but most of the time this could work against them. For example, if I put the Lakers as an interest and the person reviewing the resumes is a huge Celtics fan, do you really think it will put your resume above the others? No, it won't. In fact, they will look at it and see Kobe's beautiful face making Paul Pierce cry and in a fit of rage nearly throw their computer out the window.
Recently, the best thing I saw was someone saying that their interests involve "watching the clouds pass." Now, this person must be living under a rock since they don't understand the cultural connotation that comes with cloud watching. Cloud watcher = lazy. Who wants to hire someone who would rather watch some clouds pass than work? No wonder you are unemployed you lazy fuck. So, rule #1: leave the interests section off. They are more interested in your skill set then what you like to do in your free time.
Next, I love opening a resume with a huge picture of your face. I get it, outside the US they tend to ask for a pic, know your audience. Even on Craigslist, if they ask for a picture they probably aren't legit. Rule #2: save the pictures for your Facebook page. Unless you are applying for a job in the adult field. No one cares how well you can Photoshop your face to make your wrinkles disappear.
Also, a resume should only show what you have been doing for the past ten years. No one cares that you were an accountant in the '70s when for the past 20 years you worked at Walmart. They won't hire you as an accountant. Then they will also know about how old you are, don't give them a reason to discriminate against you. If you think age discrimination no longer exists, don't kid yourself. Rule #3: No one cares what you were doing during the Civil Rights movement.
Hope this helps those of you who are unemployed :)
Showing posts with label Unemployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unemployment. Show all posts
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Education Starved Children in Africa
Hello!!! I am very happy to have my dear friend Chelsea guest blogging. Here is her perspective on the piece:
"I was in the thick of a political theory course. I was not in my right mind. My life consisted of too much studying and not enough contact with the outside world. When I rediscovered this lengthy paragraph in an obscure file on my laptop I almost wished I could be in school again. Oh, perspective, you little bitch."
There are days when I find myself sitting in front of this very computer shaking my head in disbelief. I cannot understand how so much time can be spent, so much energy invested, and so many pleasures sacrificed all in the name of education.
Today is one of those days.
I am up to my earlobes in reading and studying, so I try to think about the things that make this all bearable. This is harder than it sounds.
Of course, the famous "they" have said that all hard work pays off in the end. Yet, whoever 'they' were did not talk to college students going into obscene amounts of debt simply to become functioning, and hopefully, contributing members of society.
Yes, I am embittered and cynical.
However, I am not lacking perspective. When all grumbling and whining is done, I am all too aware that somewhere, several somewheres actually, there are people that would kill or die to be in my shoes. I am currently engaged in a process that will give me more power than some can ever know. I am getting an education.
I am a vast receptacle of both useful and esoteric knowledge. I do not know everything. In the grand scheme, I know very little. However, I still know more than most, and my life is still new and there is time for more.
On a daily basis, I take an innumerable amount of things for granted. What once were gifts and treasures to appreciate and respect, have become commonplace commodities and conveniences.
Add education to the list.
I have somewhere in my mind come to believe that education is yet another due owed to me. Perhaps it should be, but it is not. Education must be paid for in money, in time, and in effort. This is the “there are education starved children in Africa” argument that our mother’s might espouse during dinner table discrepancies about following through.
Perhaps, someday in the future, far, far away from now, the somewhat embittered and more than a little cynical individuals who will encompass the so called, Educated Elite will do the world a favor and make it less complicated and better for those who come after them, not just here, but everywhere.
This gives me hope and pushes me to do my homework.
Image taken from here
Cartoon taken from this really awesome blog over here.
"I was in the thick of a political theory course. I was not in my right mind. My life consisted of too much studying and not enough contact with the outside world. When I rediscovered this lengthy paragraph in an obscure file on my laptop I almost wished I could be in school again. Oh, perspective, you little bitch."
There are days when I find myself sitting in front of this very computer shaking my head in disbelief. I cannot understand how so much time can be spent, so much energy invested, and so many pleasures sacrificed all in the name of education.
Today is one of those days.
I am up to my earlobes in reading and studying, so I try to think about the things that make this all bearable. This is harder than it sounds.
Of course, the famous "they" have said that all hard work pays off in the end. Yet, whoever 'they' were did not talk to college students going into obscene amounts of debt simply to become functioning, and hopefully, contributing members of society.
Yes, I am embittered and cynical.
However, I am not lacking perspective. When all grumbling and whining is done, I am all too aware that somewhere, several somewheres actually, there are people that would kill or die to be in my shoes. I am currently engaged in a process that will give me more power than some can ever know. I am getting an education.
I am a vast receptacle of both useful and esoteric knowledge. I do not know everything. In the grand scheme, I know very little. However, I still know more than most, and my life is still new and there is time for more.
On a daily basis, I take an innumerable amount of things for granted. What once were gifts and treasures to appreciate and respect, have become commonplace commodities and conveniences.
Add education to the list.
I have somewhere in my mind come to believe that education is yet another due owed to me. Perhaps it should be, but it is not. Education must be paid for in money, in time, and in effort. This is the “there are education starved children in Africa” argument that our mother’s might espouse during dinner table discrepancies about following through.
Perhaps, someday in the future, far, far away from now, the somewhat embittered and more than a little cynical individuals who will encompass the so called, Educated Elite will do the world a favor and make it less complicated and better for those who come after them, not just here, but everywhere.
This gives me hope and pushes me to do my homework.
Image taken from here
Cartoon taken from this really awesome blog over here.
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