Sorry, I can't detach my emotions from my vagina.

 
Sometimes, no matter how old a man is, they still act like an 18 year old tool. These are actual e-mails between my friend and the biggest tool in the shed.

On Sun, Aug 21, 2011 at 11:03 AM, C wrote:
Hey G,

I've been thinking about the vague conversation we had about this woman who has come back into your life recently and I realized that as much as I wish I could detach my vagina from my emotions - I can't. And I don't feel very good about the situation we're in - amorphous as it is. I like you. But I know that this isn't going anywhere and you don't have feelings beyond a certain point for me. So, I propose we remain friends. I am just certain that things will become too confusing if we keep sleeping together. Please don't think twice about coming over and hanging out with L and K. I don't want there to be any tension. You're great and I think you should go after someone you love. Forgive me for saying all this in an email but somehow I think it would be all jumbled and incoherent by telephone. I hope to see you soon!

C

From: G
Date: Sun, Aug 21, 2011 at 12:43 PM
Subject: Re: Hey there...
To: C

Oh, C.  I hear what you are saying.  This new girl has definitely been an unexpected development, but one that I know I need to see through to it's natural course.  She and I have had mutual crushes on each other for years now, and I suppose like many things, it has all kind of come down to timing.  I have really enjoyed our few weeks together, and at minimum I hope it's at least been something of a comfort in your post-breakup phase.  Everything happens for a reason and everything works out in time.  I'm sure things around the house will be fine and tension free.  And of course (at least for the time being), if you're vagina is ever feeling emotionally detached for an evening, feel free to let me know.... ;-)

-G

Why yes, us women often take a moment and say, "Vagina, are you feeling emotionally detached today so some douchebag can have his way with us and then leave?" I am so furious that a grown ass man would say this and think it is acceptable.

To my friend C, I think this quote is fitting:

"You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith." -Greg Behrendt in He's Just Not That Into You.