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Sunday, August 21, 2011

I'm a big kid now?

"When you turn 25, that's when you will really be grown up."

From the time I was young my mother has always used this age as a marker for everything. The age when it's appropriate to make any adult decisions. Now that my 25th birthday is glaring at me I am forced to look at those around me and see where they are in their lives.

My friends have all done well for themselves, pursuing what makes them happy. I cannot help but feel an overwhelming amount of discontent and sadness with what is going on in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am lucky to have a fantastic support system, a roof over my head, and a job. I always thought there would be more.

I think the hardest thing is that I thought I would have it all figured out by now, but I don't. My soul is pulling me into a thousand different directions and I cannot choose just one. I am a firm believer in taking charge of your life and making that change. I just don't know what to do.

Is everyone as lost as I am? Are they just better at hiding it?

2 comments:

  1. Adri love, this year has been what I refer to as my (quarter century) existential crisis.

    In my view this is the good news: You learn a lot about yourself. You develop a variety of passions and curiosities. You realize there is a growing sense of urgency to "do something, really do some.fucking.thing."

    The down side: You're hypercritical of every place you find yourself - particularly when you want to already be down the road a few (or many) steps. For me, developing a sense of patience has been difficult. And I do "have that overwhelming amount of discontent and sadness with what is going on in my life."

    As far as I see it, the soul pulling will continue our entire lives - but that's good. And I know it's little consolation, but I don't know what to do either.

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  2. Thanks boo! I figured I am not alone in this.

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